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Louie, press your small button: ITV (GMTV) adverts, 1993

Louie, press your small button: ITV (GMTV) adverts, 1993 It didn't work. But fortunately my EZ-Cap did (now I've got a real one and not a Chinese knockoff) and so here's more from Sunday somewhere (in summertime) 1993.

After the Gummi Bears have finally departed, and Orford and Hendy have gone through their wacky link routine, it's time for adverts, starting with cereal again. This is kid's TV, so it's sugar-frosted sugar cereal with sugar - specifically Frosties. The 90s saw Tony the Tiger usually in an inspirational sports mode, to make up for the shockingly unhealthy nature of the product. This time, however, the box sucks him, like a slightly less lame Captain N, into an 8-bit world o'Nintendo related fun. As usual, there's a giveaway involved. You can get stickers just from listlessly turning the box upside down, or you can send off the tokens from the back to win such as a GameBoy or something - they don't specify. Sega actually beat Nintendo reasonably handily in this period, at least sales-wise, but you'd never know it from the advertising.

Next: it's the late Phil Hartman! So dedicated to his craft he was prepared to eat Pot Noodle on camera. Here he is in is usual "smarmy TV anchor" persona introducing an "intense" video about a wig murdering a postman. This was part of a series; the original had a video consisting of pounding techno and random flashing colours, shapes and stock footage, which was eventually withdrawn for giving people headaches and/or grand mal seizures. The best ones just had Hartman sitting at the desk talking bollocks anyway.

Next: this one was unavoidable at one point. In the Hall of the Mountain King soundtracks a brief vignette on the Haunted House ride at Alton Towers, to which I have been around that time and it was pretty cool. Lots of pre-Pixar CGI ghosts flying about, most prominently one that they're not even pretending isn't a ripoff of Slimer. This advert did great business for Alton Towers, and updated versions continued to run for years afterwards.

Then, just in case you'd finally got that song out of your head after two punishing years, here's an an advert for wannabe Chewits riffing off the signature song (and video) by hairless gay fascist pop act Right Said Fred. It's actually quite well made - they may even have got your actual Richard Fairbrass to do the vocals - but the "so juicy it hurts" bit was creepy even at the time and would probably result in an immediate veto now.

Toys! It's that man Batman, whose Animated Series was running on Saturday Morning ITV over here via the WB-affiliated What's Up Doc?. Here's a particularly grumpy looking Dark Knight and a parachuting Robin, who wasn't even on the show (as far as we were concerned) up against Harvey Dent, all in glorious Bruce Timm-o-vision. Batman wins the day with some kind of ridiculous claw thing. So much for gritty realism.

Next: WILL YOU PLEASE JUST GO TO THIS MOVIE ALREADY. Again, the voiceover says "a John Hughes production" with a palpable sense of "so don't blame me". Finally, those Smiley Face Jammie Dodger abominations again, although the videotape is clearly bored and starts eating itself. It recovers in time for the show to come back.

1993

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